this is us... Part 1

Hey there!

I wanted to start off by apologizing for not keeping in contact as often as I should have. These past few years have been crazy for us all, and I really feel like I let you down by not calling or staying in contact as often as I could be. When you first met me, you gave me a HUGE responsibility to help you find a home and we talked or messaged almost every day. I admit, I got caught up with clients and work and failed on my part. I sincerely apologize.

You know, when we first met, we talked a lot about what you wanted in your next home, what your needs and wants were, and what was important for you and your family. You let me into your family but, to be honest, I never really allowed you a good peek into mine. Over this past year, COVID did a lot of things for people, for me, it made me take a step back and ask myself some really deep things. One of the things that I realized is that I wasn't letting people know much about me and my family and to be honest, it's a huge part of me. I feel bad for not letting those who I truly care about in. I made a decision that things would change this year! I want my clients, who I consider friends, like you, to know me, the really, authentic me!

For the past few years, my husband Jason and I hosted foreign exchange students from all over the world! We had students from Italy, Germany, Brazil and Spain. Oh, it was so much fun! They would come to the US a few weeks before school started and would live with us and attend Stevens HS and then leave a week or two after the school year ended. The main purpose was to sharpen their English skills and to learn the American way of life. It was a blast! We got to experience so many "firsts" with them. Their first enchilada, their first hispanic wedding, their first Thanksgiving (which they all LOVED!) and for 3 of them, the first time they were away from their family for an extended amount of time. While it was fun and a learning experience for them, it was a learning experience for us too! We had to learn to be patient, learn how to explain things, and try to explain why we as Americans do things certain ways (which at times was super confusing and they didn't accept "Cause that's just how it's done!" as a sufficient answer)! I remember our German student, Thilo, was shocked that school wasn't over until 4pm-ish and said that our sodas had way too much sugar! Our Spanish kid, Alberto, hated that Chick-Fil A wasn't open on Sundays because that became his favorite (we felt his pain, too on that one)!

We keep up with our past kiddos by text almost everyday and we have our weekly video calls which allows us to keep in contact with each other. After Alberto left, we decided that maybe we were ready to start a family of our own. We knew that we didn't want an infant since we both love our "happy hours" and knew that a small baby would take up a little too much time and attention than we were ready to give. After lots of prayer and conversations we decided that a kiddo between the ages of 7-12 may be best for us. Boy, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into! We thought we would be able to go on to a website and get connected with kiddos who needed a family. Boy were we wrong! We were told that we had to get licensed to foster-to-adopt. The licensing procedure is extensive and at times we wanted to give up, but we kept with it because we knew our dream of being a family was within reach. Once licensed we were told that the main priority for the foster program was "family reunification" What!?! Reunification?! "That means we may have a kiddo, fall in love with them, and they may leave us?!" We. Were. Broken. Jason and I again prayed and prayed, asked ourselves if this is really what we want to do. We asked ourselves if we were ready for potential heartbreak, we asked if our relationship can survive that, we wondered how our family would be affected, how our business would be affected, sheesh we even considered how our 2 dogs would be affected (they have separation anxiety, that's a story for another time lol)! Then we thought about a kiddo. We thought about someone out there who may need us. We told ourselves that we have a spare room, a warm home, love, and somewhere out there, there is someone who desperately wants that. How could we say no? So we said yes! We told the foster organization that we were ready to move forward. We began to receive emails about kiddos who needed a foster family pretty quickly. Not all matched what we were looking for, one email had a group of 4 kids who were looking for a home. As hard as it was to decline it we knew we weren't ready for 4 additional little people in our home. The emails that we started to get were all groups of kids, or kids much older than what we were looking for. We began to get discouraged. Then one day an email came out about a kiddo named Danny. Danny was living with a family who no longer could give him the support that he needed, he needed to be an only child. (only child. Check!) The email stated that Danny loves Legos, Fortnite and superhero movies (Jason is a marvel freak and Covid allowed me to master my skills on Fortnite...Check!) The email stated something that we didn't quite understand at the time.. Daniel is legally free". Legally Free? We thought... What does that mean? Turns out, it's a BIG DEAL. We wouldn't have to do family visits, which are common with foster kids, we won't have to worry about him going back to his family if they changed their minds. He belongs to the state and the state is looking for his "forever home". Legally free is exactly what we were hoping for, but didn't even know existed! We said YES, YES, YES! Then we got a response from our caseworker, "Danny and CPS will make a decision and notify you in 3-S business days. OMG! Seriously!? Lol! 3-5 days sounded like such a long time!! That next day we got a call, Danny had selected us to be his foster parents! Oh, we were over the moon with excitement! Then came the stress... will he like it here? Will he like the dogs? Will he like our cooking? What will we talk about? Will he like our family? Will he be sad? How do we handle it if he is sad? Are We Ready For This?!? The next call was,

"Danny would like to go over today after school, is that okay?" YES, of course! We took that day off to mentally prepare ourselves and right at 3pm the doorbell rang. We opened the door to the cutest little kiddo, with an oversized shirt, long overgrown hair, wearing Hip flops with socks (yup, he is from San Antonio), and the biggest smile I have ever seen. He said "Hi, I'm Danny. I'm your new son - can I come in?" We said of course!! He came in, dropped his bags, and when he heard the dogs barking asked if he could play with them. We all walked to the living room where the dogs gave him tons of love. He immediately looked like he belonged here. We felt like our home was missing him this entire time. After going over stuff with CPS we showed him his room. He had a trash can and trash bag full of clothes and trash that smelled like animal urine. (We asked him if he wanted to go grab a bite to eat and go shopping he said "YES!! I'm starving, can we get Tacos?" Lol "yes kiddo, we can get tacos." He opened up to us immediately, asked us a lot of questions about what we do for work, asked about our family, and what we like to do for fun. Then he got quiet and asked us something we will never forget. He was quietly eating his taco and looked up at us and asked, "Hey guys...do you give hugs?" I said "Oh we do! We love to give hugs!...Do you?" He said, " have always wanted to! I see my cousins get them but I never do." Holding back tears we asked him, would you like a hug? He jumped into Jason's arms and hugged him oh so tightly then hugged me. We knew at that moment this would be a great experience! We later took him shopping and got him a haircut and he was so happy! The 2nd week he was with us, he asked if he can call us Dad and has transitioned into our family perfectly! It's been 6 months since he has been with us and its been a roller coaster to say the least!

To be Continued!

Well, that's what has been happening with my life! Thank you for allowing me to share this with you, I am 100% open for any and all parenting advice!! I can't wait to share our experiences with you!

Like always, if you need me, I am only a phone call or text away!